I Will Cut Your Wings Loose

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This is in response to Khandroma’s piece Cut my Wings Loose.

I will cut your wings loose, my dear­est Khan­droma; daugh­ter of Gaia, sky­dancer, con­sort of the Goddess.

Each one of me will cut your wings loose and one will send you sky­ward where your heart is. The sec­ond will send you deep below where your body is. And the third will send you tum­bling straight into Devotion.

The dreamwalker will whis­per in your ear while carv­ing out the angel inside you. He will pet your hair and caress your heart and find the crack in you where his breath will sneak in, unbe­knownst to you, and min­gle with your soul; a swirling union of the ele­men­tal mas­cu­line and the ele­men­tal fem­i­nine inside the womb of your heart. He will put his hand on your heart and pro­tect the kick that you nour­ish and nur­ture inside. And he will write poetry on your skin and write another poem about watch­ing paint dry.

The teardrinker will give you his fin­gers to kiss in yes, and press them deep into your throat and pull prayers for release and still­ness from your lips. He will lap at your tears and embrace you with his teeth and nurse on your blood, invited or not, and com­mune with your soul through the can­vas of your skin. He will speak to you word­lessly, through the growl of pos­ses­sion and you will respond with the gasp of sur­ren­der. He will claim you and carve his name into your flesh so deeply that it marks your soul.

And they will both sus­pend you over the chasm of dis­be­lief, tak­ing you from here to there, pro­pelling you with your own exha­la­tion with­out pass­ing “Go” and col­lect­ing $200. And you will let them because that is the task set forth to The Giver. If noth­ing else, then sim­ply because it is her nature.

And, finally, the man will reach for you. He will reach for your wrist. He will reach for your hair. He will reach for your throat. And most of all, he will reach for you when you feel lit­tle and tired and just want to curl up like a paren­the­sis around warmth and safety and pos­ses­sive­ness. A pud­dle of goo at his feet or a purring lit­tle kit­ten in his lap, it does not mat­ter; it is all you.

And he will tell you in a sooth­ing voice,

”Hush, girl.”

And after that, noth­ing else mat­ters any­more because you will remem­ber the words you, yourself spoke; rad­i­cal trust. And it is right. It is right because it feels right. And it is right because you say it is.

What is real­ity, any­way, except for what we say it is? Thus, real­ity is mal­leable; even more mal­leable than your soft bosom on which he rests his head. The soft bosom that cra­dles your heart that cra­dles your emo­tional womb that cra­dles the spi­ral­ing con­nec­tion that cra­dles the ele­men­tal­ity of the mas­cu­line and the fem­i­nine, that cra­dles you and your bosom. And Möbius laughs again because the band never stops play­ing. And if that is not real, what is?

I will reach around you from behind, into the fra­grant gar­den of Baby­lon and dip my hand into the pool between your legs and paint your face with fin­gers drip­ping of per­fume. And you will not even think to speak because speech is an intel­lec­tual exer­cise and your brain has gone fish­ing, leav­ing you jump­ing and splash­ing in the river of your emo­tions. You will fly the sky while pinned in front of, below, and beneath me.

And you will sing for me. Laugh­ter is as pri­mal as cry­ing. Gig­gling is as pri­mal as whim­per­ing. Sigh­ing is as pri­mal as gasp­ing. And noth­ing is more pri­mal than the kiss. And do not for­get the bite.

Yes, my dear, sweet girl; I will cut your wings loose. I will not dis­ap­point you, either; I promise.

And you will teach me to love.

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