It’s Com­pli­cated, Part 2

This is part of the It’s Com­pli­cated series.

In It’s Com­pli­cated, I was relay­ing that I am post­pon­ing my impend­ing divorce to care for my soon-​to-​be ex-​wife while she is being treated for breast can­cer. We are essen­tially friendly and cour­te­ous room­mates and while I try not to rub the details of my life in her face, I am com­pletely open with her about what it is that I do.

Last night (Fri­day evening, Feb­ru­ary 12, 2010), she handed me her phone with­out a word and a blank look on her face. I took it and was greeted by her oncol­o­gist doc­tor. They have diag­nosed her with brain can­cer as a result of her breast cancer.

Brain can­cer.

She’s not even done with her chemother­apy for breast can­cer yet. She hasn’t even begun her radi­a­tion ther­apy for breast can­cer yet.

Another can­cer? In the brain?

Many peo­ple tend to have an idea of which would be the worst way for them to die. For some it is drown­ing, for instance, and for oth­ers it is being eaten alive. No mat­ter what it is, I believe most of us have some idea of what it would be.

For as long as I have known her, my wife has always said that brain can­cer was her night­mare. And now the night­mare is here. Right here. Right now. And all I can think of is that I would much rather be a divorcé with a pain-​in-​the-​ass ex-​wife than a widower.

We are both in a daze but there is really noth­ing to do at this moment. She has an urgent appoint­ment with a radi­a­tion cen­ter the next busi­ness day (Tues­day) at which time we will learn more about her treat­ment plan. Breast can­cer has taught us that there is not much point in dwelling on the sick­ness between treat­ments since there is noth­ing, really, that we can do anyway.

I will stay to see her through this too. She is family.

Prayers or good luck wishes or good vibra­tions, any­thing good sent her way will be much appreciated.

Update: Please see It’s Com­pli­cated, Part 3.