My First Crush

I grew up in the north of Swe­den, about 2 hours drive south of the polar cir­cle. The cli­mate resem­bles Alaska’s and it was pretty rural up there when I was a kid.

Dur­ing my first 6 years of life, my par­ents rented a prop­erty on a farm, and I had one sin­gle friend, a girl named Susanne for all that time. My 2 year younger sis­ter didn’t count for much. For my first 6 years I was aware that other boys existed because I occa­sion­ally met one and I saw them on TV, but for all intents and pur­poses they did not exist in my world.

I don’t know how I would have turned out if I had a bal­anced sup­ply of male and female friends, but I will of course never know. We moved to town (pop­u­la­tion around 25,000 at the time) just before I turned 7 and I was almost feral in inter­act­ing with boys, not hav­ing been social­ized with them. I ended up in a lot of fights and I got beaten in many of them. And still, I felt a kin­ship with them that was hard to explain, although I would con­nect with and under­stand girls bet­ter than they did.

Note that it did not make me girly; I just inter­acted with girls dif­fer­ently than the other boys. It did mean, also, that I was engaged to be mar­ried at age 5 when I pro­posed to Susanne as we were play­ing house and she hap­pily accepted. Come to think of it, we never broke off the engage­ment. He he.

In pre-​​school, on the first day, I met a girl with long, raven hair and I never looked back. That was my first instance of falling in love; I had never felt any­thing like that before and I still remem­ber it so many years later. Sadly, I can­not remem­ber her name but I snagged the chair next to her and I fol­lowed her around like a puppy-​​dog the entire year.

A year after that, in first grade, I met Helen, with lux­u­ri­ous long blond hair, and so it went. It would be until age 15 before I got into a girl’s panties, though, and that was all her own doing. It would be with another girl with long, raven hair; her name was Hilde, she was Nor­we­gian, and I’ve sung her praises before.

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