My Thumbprint On the World

While I believe that deity is irrel­e­vant, I like the metaphors of a fem­i­nine force and a cor­re­spond­ing mas­cu­line force inter­twin­ing and appar­ent in day-​to-​day activ­i­ties and people.

We all have a mix­ture of the ele­men­tal fem­i­nine and the ele­men­tal mas­cu­line in us, and we all express that mix­ture dif­fer­ently. Most women are endowed with more of the ele­men­tal fem­i­nine and most men are endowed with more of the ele­men­tal masculine.

When a man and a woman inter­act, in any capac­ity, there is an inter­ac­tion between the ele­men­tal fem­i­nine and the ele­men­tal masculine.

Yes, this is all hetero-​centric, but I am het­ero­sex­ual so this is what’s going on inside my head.

The ele­men­tal fem­i­nine per­me­ates every­one and every­thing with a nur­tur­ing, nour­ish­ing glow, whereas the ele­men­tal mas­cu­line pierces through to stir the fem­i­nine and to trans­form it. The ele­men­tal fem­i­nine is vast and soft and intan­gi­ble and it rel­ishes the tan­gi­bil­ity, the defined-​ness of the mas­cu­line to shape itself around it, to feel it, to focus on it. Con­versely, the ele­men­tal mas­cu­line rel­ishes the soft­ness and the rest­ful warmth of the feminine.

All in all, that belief sys­tem is ripe with sex­ual con­cepts and metaphors and that is right and proper because it is all about sex after all. We have been males and females long before we became humans.

Most peo­ple say that they are human first, and men and women sec­ond. I say that we are males and females first, and humans second.

You should never, and can never, ignore or deny the dif­fer­ences between males and females. Nei­ther is bet­ter or worth more, but we are cer­tainly dif­fer­ent, and I hap­pen to like the way girls are dif­fer­ent from me.

Grins.

This is con­densed sliver of a part of what I have had evolve in my head. I promise that it would make much more sense if I could con­vey it bet­ter and had much more time. It is def­i­nitely well suited for an all-​nighter in the dark with a bot­tle of wine or two, my favorite way of con­nect­ing men­tally and emotionally.

I have been think­ing that I wanted to write a book about it, named “The Ele­men­tal Con­nec­tion,” hence me buy­ing the elementalconnection.com url. It would speak on relationships.

I have no degree to lend it author­ity, but it would not be author­i­tar­ian, nor would it be spir­i­tual per se. It would also not be a self-​help book offer­ing 10 steps to make your rela­tion­ship better.

It would be a book about art, about see­ing your world through poetic and lyri­cal metaphors and then view and expe­ri­ence the rela­tion­ship between men and women using that approach.

No answers because there are none, only obser­va­tions of the beauty of the fact that the male/​female dis­tinc­tion is much more fun­da­men­tal and pro­found than we tend to give it credit for.

I don’t even know what for­mat it would be in. Some­times I won­der if I should make it into a dia­log, like Richard Back’s Illu­sions: The Adven­tures of a Reluc­tant Mes­siah. I tend to become too preachy when just try­ing to con­vey a topic in a lec­tural way. We’ll see…

The more I think about it, the more I keep think­ing that the ele­men­tal con­nec­tion is an approach to life and rela­tion­ships that invites tools and prac­tices found in BDSM to pro­mote con­nec­tion and inti­macy, but is much more.

I know that there are many oth­ers that find BDSM in itself shal­low and too focused on sex and to lit­tle focused on mak­ing love, con­nec­tion and inti­macy. To me, hurt­ing you is mak­ing love; I can­not explain it any bet­ter than that. But I can be very ten­der and lov­ing too.

This all is still fer­ment­ing and per­co­lat­ing in my brain. Some­day I might actu­ally estab­lish some­thing that gives peo­ple an alter­na­tive to plain old vanilla BDSM. Some­thing affirm­ing, warm, and lov­ing. Some­thing that acknowl­edges the immense power in our women with­out resort­ing to god­dess worship.

I once par­tic­i­pated in a Tantric work­shop that was heavy on god­dess wor­ship, and while I enjoyed many of the con­cepts brought forth, wor­ship­ping the god­dess did not really sit right with me somehow.

It felt more right to think of it as cher­ish­ing the god­dess, that instead of putting women on pedestals, to take them into my arms and my hands and trea­sur­ing them.

Swarm said this when I told her about par­tic­i­pat­ing in a year-​long pro­gram to become a cer­ti­fied men­tor in BDSM: “they just don’t know what they’re mess­ing with, do they? You would cre­ate Tops like no one has ever seen. The way that you touch women is unique. I won­der if that will extend to men…”

I don’t know if it will indeed extend to men, but the pri­mary rea­son I entered this pro­gram was just that. I’ll just have to find out if I can reach my broth­ers. I feel like I have some­thing to share, some­thing to con­tribute, and I know that when my rota­tion comes up, my topic will be in the lines of the ele­men­tal con­nec­tion between the male and the female.

Heh; imag­ine how dis­ap­point­ing when all the other men­tors do fun stuff like teach­ing you canes and fire play and whips, and then you get stuck with Dreamwalker and you’re forced to write poetry and your home­work con­sists of lis­ten­ing to your lover’s heart­beat and shit like that…

I’m such a fuck­ing girl.

Ah, well…

Another thing that keeps pop­ping up in my head is the term “Dreamwalker House.” There are enough of us out there that live in the out­skirts of the BDSM lifestyle but still feel like out­siders because we are more inter­ested in the emo­tional than toys and fash­ion. (And lists, he he.)

One day, there might be a Dreamwalker House, a tan­gi­ble place or an abstract con­cept or some­thing that offers an alter­na­tive built on beauty and inti­macy and empa­thy and con­nec­tion. And, yes, fist­ing and erotic pain and surrender.

Heh.

What it will look like, I have no idea of. My sub­con­scious is still per­co­lat­ing on that one. All I know is that I feel strongly about it.