Q: Do you like to hurt some­one who doesn’t like pain?

This ques­tion on FetLife reads:

Just won­der­ing if it’s more arous­ing to a sadist to hurt some­one who is will­ing to suf­fer and endure some pain but doesn’t actu­ally enjoy the pain itself but, rather, enjoys that the endur­ing pleases the sadist?

Or do most sadists find more arousal in some­one who loves to be hurt?

Which is the preference?

A: Maybe I haven’t grown into my domly shoes yet, but inflict­ing myself on some­one who is only doing it to please me would make me feel like a thug, a bully, a… mon­ster. (And not a mon­ster of the sexy kind.)

Note that there are many bot­toms that sub­mit to pain in order to please their tops and I find it admirable and actu­ally quite roman­tic. It is just that I must have entitlement-​issues that pre­vent me from relax­ing into it and accept­ing such a sacrifice.

To me, it would feel like I have been the recip­i­ent of pity-​sex and it is hard for me to find the emo­tional con­nec­tion there. Maybe it’s because I fun­da­men­tally need to please my vic­tim as much as tak­ing my plea­sure from her too.

There is noth­ing more arous­ing than see­ing lust burn­ing behind a sheen of tears in her eyes. There is noth­ing more con­nect­ing than her falling to her knees in agony, sight­less eyes star­ing into the ceil­ing, breath catch­ing while she processes my lat­est kiss, and then hear­ing her finally whis­per, “That was yummy.”

Believe it or not, but amongst the tears and the beg­ging and the scream­ing, Dreamwalker is look­ing for approval.