Q: Why Are Women So Confusing?

A: Women are sup­posed to be con­fus­ing. You will always be con­fused by women because con­fu­sion and un-​confusion are both cog­ni­tive con­structs, and per­ceiv­ing a woman with your mind alone is the biggest mis­take you can make.

That is prob­a­bly the biggest sin­gle insight I ever had about women; don’t look at them with your mind and try to under­stand, instead look at them with your heart and feel with them. So much of what a woman is and who she is, is in her heart and her soul. That’s where the iden­tity, the cen­ter of aware­ness of the being you are look­ing for is.

She streams her aware­ness through cog­ni­tive shapes to inter­act with the phys­i­cal world, but those shapes are too few, too clumsy, too cum­ber­some to truly rep­re­sent her. It is a per­fectly fine rep­re­sen­ta­tion, just like a com­pressed mp3 record­ing can be enjoyed per­fectly fine, but it doesn’t con­vey the true breadth and depth of her, it does not give a true fidelity to what she is. It is like talk­ing to her on video con­fer­ence; you can see her and you can hear her and you can inter­act with her, but you can­not touch her, you can­not smell her, you can­not taste her.

It is a lossy process, a one-​way street. It shaves off things that won’t fit, to extrude pieces of her­self enough to present but never really, truly who she is. Being a one-​way street, you can­not really go the other way; if you want to con­nect with her, and not the image she presents to the world, the one that is con­fus­ing and hard to under­stand, you will have to go to the source; her heart. Because that’s where she is. That’s where you can actu­ally touch her and con­nect with her and affect her. That’s where her aware­ness yields to your touch and you see rip­ples in her being from your very presence.

Women are sim­ple. Ever the com­mu­ni­ca­tors and brave souls, will­ing, yearn­ing, to be vul­ner­a­ble, to be touched, to be under­stood, they do every­thing in their power to make them­selves avail­able for just that. And all you have to do is to look past the mask. Don’t try to under­stand her with your mind because that’s not where she is. Not really. Just go find her, seek her out; you will find her sit­ting on a stone and wait­ing to be found. Gin­gerly place your hand on her heart and you will real­ize that there is no need to under­stand, only to accept, only to con­nect, only to commune.